Oh noes, SNOW!

It’s hard to know what was more predictable. That snow would bring large swathes of the country to a standstill or that the usual lamentable arsetards would start bitching about the fact that a dusting of snow has crippled our once great nation again.

Oh do fuck off.

Snow storms kick us in the ghoullies because we’re not used to them. Simple. As. And if we only have severe blizzards for a couple of weeks every five or six years, what’s the point in being prepared for it?

For whatever reason, be it man-made global warming or Womble farts, Britain’s winters seem to have got milder and milder over the past 20-years. I don’t have any facts to back that statement up, and if you have data that proves otherwise, you clearly need to get a girlfriend. But to me at least, the winters don’t seem as harsh as when I was a nipper.

So what would be the point of investing millions and millions on rail infrastructure and a gargantuan fleet of gritters? Councils and businesses can’t blow their budgets on the off-chance that it’ll be a bad winter.

Of course the Scots and Northern Europeans handle snow much better than us. They get shed loads all the time.

Do you really want to pay higher taxes to pay for vast stores of rock salt? No of course you fucking don’t. Do you want the government to make winter tyres mandatory, and force you to pay for them to be changed twice a year, like they do in other countries? Thought not.

We just have to deal with it. Snow falls. We’re screwed. Never mind.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some things we can do as individuals. People really should make sure their tyres are up to scratch in the autumn ready for icy conditions. Would it also kill us to have a tow rope, thermal blanket and a small shovel in the car? Probably not.

But please, let’s not let the media’s hysterical apocalyptic ranting get the better of us. It’s just a bit of snow. It’ll be gone in a few days and the dreary British landscape will be back.

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